From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them, and that is eternity.” — Edvard Munch
In the event of my death, I hope this information eases the decision-making process for whomever is burden with it.
Post-Death Wishes and Guidance:
As I do not have strong opinions about what is done with my body after I’ve passed, my primary concern is for those who survive me. If my loved ones have strong preferences, I want those to be respected.
If there are no strong preferences from others, I ask that the following guide decisions:
- I prefer to be cremated because being buried has always felt dark and cold to me, but I do like the idea of returning to the earth to support new life, so bury my body if you prefer.
- Should you choose to cremate my body, my suggestion would be to scatter my ashes somewhere in nature wherever it would be convenient for those who wish to have a place to remember me to visit, but if my ashes are lost in a shoebox somewhere… c’est la vie.
- Should you choose to bury me, please don’t waste your money on some fancy coffin, I would rather be buried in something that will more easily decompose.
- Either way, I would generally just prefer minimal handling of my body. If you want my remains handled in something other than the clothes I died in, please just ensure I am dressed in natural fibers that can easily decompose or that won’t be toxic when burned.
Medical Preferences (CPR, Life Support, End-of-Life Setting, and Organ Donation):
If I am unable to make my own medical decisions, I want my care guided by the following:
I would want CPR only if there is a reasonable chance of meaningful recovery.
If I am unable to advocate for myself, please prioritize keeping me comfortable and not in pain, even if this may unintentionally shorten my life.
I’m okay with trying life support if meaningful recovery is likely. But please do not continue life support in the following circumstances:
- Permanent loss of consciousness
- Severe brain injury with no meaningful recovery expected
- Terminal illness with limited time left
- No expected ability to regain independence or communicate
- Extreme suffering with no reasonable relief
- Very low chance of survival or recovery
- Prolonged life support without a clear path to improvement
I prefer a time-limited trial of life support with reassessment at:
- ~2 weeks for general life support
- ~6 weeks if neurological recovery is the primary concern
If there is no meaningful improvement within these timeframes, or no reasonable expectation of recovery, I would want life support to be withdrawn.
As I said during icebreakers my first night of freshman year at Cate School when asked if I were a fruit or a vegetable, which one would I be, and I answered, “If I were a vegetable, I would want you to pull the plug.”
End-of-Life Setting: I do not have a strong preference about whether I am in a hospital, hospice, or at home. Please choose what is most manageable and least burdensome for those caring for me. If reasonable, I have a slight preference to be somewhere familiar, with pets nearby.
Organ Donation: I would be honored to donate my organs. One final act of service.
Digital Accounts and Personal Data:
I am comfortable with my digital accounts, files, photos, and communications being accessed and handled by those I trust.
Please prioritize ease and discretion. I do not have concerns about unflattering or personal content being seen, so long as it is handled in good faith and with consideration for others who may be affected.
If anything is clearly private or could reasonably cause harm or distress to others, I trust your judgment to handle it appropriately.
These materials can be kept, shared, or deleted at your discretion.
When my friend tragically passed away before her time, I appreciated being able to visit her social media accounts to see photos of her.
Personal Belongings
I do not have strong preferences about what is done with my belongings.
Please keep anything that feels meaningful to you, and feel free to donate or pass along anything that no longer serves you.
I would gently encourage you not to rush decisions. There is no need to sort through everything right away—take your time so you don’t part with something you may later wish you had kept.
If it brings comfort, you might consider holding onto something that still carries my scent, like a piece of clothing.
Beyond that, I trust your judgment completely. There is no timeline for letting things go.
For Those I Love:
Please do whatever feels right to you in remembering me.
If you want to gather, eat, laugh, and celebrate—do that.
If you want something more traditional and somber—do that.
There is no right way to grieve.
I do not want any of you to feel guilty—about how much you cry or don’t, how often you think of me or don’t, or how quickly you move forward. Whatever you feel, and however you move through it, is enough.
Treat yourselves and each other with compassion and patience, and in time, find healing.
You are allowed to be okay again without me.
Thank you for your consideration.
— Sophie
(Last updated: 2026)
Sophie's External Brain 